Bring thy lust to the gospel, not for relief, but for further conviction of its guilt: look on him whom thou has pierced, and be in bitterness. Say to thy soul, 'What have I done? What love, what mercy, what blood, what grace, have I despised and trampled on! Is this the return I make to the Father for his love, to the Son for his blood, to the Holy Ghost for his grace? Do I thus requite the Lord? Have I defiled the heart that Christ died to wash, which the blessed Spirit hath chosen to dwell in? And can I keep myself out of the dust? What can I say to the dear Lord Jesus? How shall I hold up my head with any boldness before him? Do I account my communion with him of so little value, that for this vile lust's sake I have scarce left him any room in my heart? How shall I escape, if I neglect so great salvation? In the mean time, what shall I say to the Lord? Love, mercy, grace, goodness, peace, joy, consolation; I have despised them all, and esteemed them as a thing of nought, that I might harbour a lust in my heart.
'Have I obtained a view of God's fatherly countenance that I might behold his face and provoke him to his face? Was my soul washed that room might be made for new defilements? Shall I endeavour to disappoint the end of the death of Christ? Shall I daily grieve that Spirit whereby I am sealed to the day of redemption?'
Entertain thy conscience daily with this entreaty. See if it can stand before this aggravation of its guilt. If this make it not sink in some measure, and melt, I fear thy case is dangerous.
As I read that this morning, I could not help but contrast it with something else I read this morning about another attack on the gospel. It is essential that we "get the gospel right," for only in understanding the gospel truly will we be able to live truly. This is the value of Owen's book — he understands the gospel and its power to change the lives of men. I've waited far too long to read this book, which is becoming a treasure to me in my daily battle against sin.
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