Missions and children

Do you ever wonder how to stimulate your children (or yourself) to a greater love for missions?

A few weeks ago, Desiring God offered a list of 10 ways to help kids love missions. [These ideas might work for adults, too.]

Here is the list, without the additional notes of explanation:

1. Pray for missionaries as a family.

2. Read missionary biographies to your children.

3. Draw the whole family into supporting missionaries financially.

4. Find your child a missionary kid pen pal.

5. Entertain missionaries in your home.

6. Take risks as a family.

7. Affirm and nurture qualities in your children which could serve them on the mission field.

8. Teach your children to be world Christians.

9. Read missionary prayer letters to your children.

10. Use missions fact books and resources such as Operation World, the Global Prayer Digest, the Joshua Project, and Voice of the Martyrs (VOM). Kids of Courage is the youth-oriented arm of VOM and offers activity books, spotlights on the persecuted world, and more.

Sunday Leftovers (8/26/07)

"If we understood Hell even the slightest bit, none of us would ever say, 'Go to Hell.' It's far too easy to go to Hell. It requires no change of course, no navigational adjustments. We were born with our autopilot set toward Hell. It is nothing to take lightly — Hell is the single greatest tragedy in the universe." [Randy Alcorn, Heaven.]

It has been statements like that that have caused me to contemplate the reality of hell far more in recent months. Few people like to think of death in general, and fewer still are willing to give serious consideration of hell's realities. And when most people do, they think of it in unreal terms, as Ted Turner did several years ago when he said, "Heaven is perfect. Who wants to go to a place that's perfect? Boring, boring. [In hell] we'll have a chance to make things better because hell is supposed to be a mess."

Is that really a possibility? What will hell be like?

• In Hell (Alcorn suggests capitalizing Heaven and Hell as one would any proper noun, since they are literal places), the restraining influence of God the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and believers will be fully removed, resulting in a fullness of sin. All sin will be "fully mature," so that there will be no rest from it. All sin in all its forms (think of any sin and it will apply — anger, fear, hatred, anxiousness, selfishness) will be unrelenting and unceasing and never abated.
• In Hell, there will be the complete absence of anything good. The capacity to perform even the simplest act of kindness is a result of the common grace of God. Such grace from God will not exist in Hell, so there will be no ability to perform even the tiniest modicum of goodness. There will be no friendship (only hatred), no fellowship (only selfishness), no peace (only anger), and no comfort (only unrest and regret).
• In Hell, there will be eternal (i.e., they will always know it) knowledge of the reality of God and Heaven. It seems possible that not only will there be an understanding that God and Heaven exist, but that in some measure and form, it will even be able to be seen (cf. Lk. 16:22ff). Yet they will never be able to cross over from Hell to Heaven. Which leads to my last observation…
• In Hell, there will be no opportunities to ever change a decision made on earth. They are eternally condemned. (Think on that for a time.) In Hell, there will be full awareness of guilt, full awareness of sin, full awareness that Christ was rejected, full submission to Christ, with no opportunity to ever repent. I've made more than one decision that I've regretted. But none with the same kind of eternal implication. This will be the great anguish and horror of hell.
  

Hell is and will be a terror which we have no scale to measure. And people we know and love have gone, are going, and will go there. Which means two things for parents (which is what this sermon was about):

1. We must train our children to have a compassion for those who are lost that spills over into clear gospel articulations to the lost. May the training of our children produce in them grief and sadness for those who are unregenerate and headed for Hell, rather than haughty criticism.
2. We must train our children to exist in the world (be influencers for Christ in the world), while at the same time maintaining hearts that are separate from and unstained by the philosophy of the world.
   

Hell is terrible and eternal. Train your children to understand its deadliness. And train them also to have compassion for those who are going there.

Better (Teenage) Saints

How shall we parent and shepherd our teens so that they will walk faithfully with God?

In his most recent "Taste and See" column, John Piper interacts with two recent books and draws the conclusion that "Good Doctrine Makes Better (Teenage) Saints." A sample statement:

"…even though growing a church by serious teaching of biblical truth may be harder and slower, it does bear more radical fruit than less doctrinally serious strategies of growth."

Sunday Leftovers (8/19/07)

In the last few years, I have heard an increasing number of times, "I love _____, but I don't like him/her..." Such a notion is a completely foreign concept in Scripture. To love someone is, by definition, to be both a friend and friendly to that person.

No where should that be more evident than in a marriage. A stable marriage relationship also produces deep friendship and fellowship. What does that friendship look like? (Meditating on the implications of these statements for the marriage relationship will be time well-spent.)

• There are no circumstances that can remove a friend's love for his friend (Prov. 17:17).
• A friend is always a defender and protector of his friend (Prov. 18:24).
• A friend stimulates his friend spiritually (Prov. 27:17).
• A friend will tell the truth to his friend rather than deceitfully flatter him (Prov. 27:6).
  

Now the temptation will often be, "where can I find someone to do that for me?" or, "how can I get my spouse to do that for me?" Yet the focus of a marriage relationship is not, "what is that person supposed to do for me," but "what is my joyful obligation to my marriage partner?" So when considering the fellowship of friendship within marriage, the joyful responsibility and privilege is to be the kind of friend to my wife that I myself would desire to have — regardless of whether she ever reciprocates or not.

Sunday Leftovers (8/12/07)

In "How Much is Enough?" Al Mohler demonstrates the cultural bias towards a preoccupation with and dependence on material goods and wealth as god. That theology constantly bombards our souls and is dangerous for both us and our children.

So, here are some random thoughts as I reflect on yesterday's sermon and think about how to shepherd our children through such a twisted web of thinking:

• Like all temptation, material goods and wealth make a "promise" of the good life which they are wholly unable to provide.
• Better to give to much than too little.
• Not only can material goods not be taken into glory, but moths and rust will destroy most of what we possess long before we even get to glory.
• When making purchases, learn to ask, "If I purchase this, will I possess it, or will it possess (control) me?"
• Having money is not an intrinsic evidence of God's blessing (and neither is not having money).
• It is just as possible to be poor and greedy as rich and greedy.
• Biblically, debt is only that obligation which I cannot repay; however, even debt that is within our means to repay will generally be an impairment to joy and the ministry of giving.
• Give God your life before you give Him your money (2 Cor. 8:5).
  

Sunday Leftovers (8/5/07)

"To the physician," writes, Chuck Swindoll, "it's merely a two-ounce slab of mucous membrane…But the tongue is as volatile as it is vital…[It is ] verbal cyanide. A lethal, relentless, flaming missile which assaults with hellish power, blistering and destroying at will."

This is the testimony of many Scriptures — Jesus, James, and Proverbs speak significantly about the danger of the tongue.

Yet the tongue is also beneficial, for by it we encourage, exhort, comfort, and train in righteousness.

So, because the tongue is both a help and a hindrance in communication, we are wise to be careful who has our ear — who we listen to for counsel and instruction, and we are wise to be diligent in truthfulness.

Be wise in who you heed as a counselor is an admonition repeated several times in Proverbs:

• A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (18:24)
• Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. (27:6)
• Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend. Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away. (27:9-10)

We do well to remember that these words were spoken by Solomon to his son(s) — they were his warning about both the kind and quantity of friends and confidants his son should select. He should select friends that are spiritually perceptive enough to be able to see through the veneer of his life and rebuke and exhort him to righteousness. These friends should not be men who would only affirm what he wants to hear. And he and they should have a reciprocally faithful relationship to each other — the friendship is not easily lost!

Given the pointed way that Solomon addresses his son, we must also recognize the validity and wisdom in being proactive in helping our children select their friends — helping them choose friends that will stimulate them in godly ways and not ungodly relationships. I am reminded of the wise words of E. V. Hill when he spoke of his children's friends and dating relationships: "Some of these relationships need to be broken up!" Solomon would agree.

But not only should children be wise in how they select as friends, but they should also be scrupulous in truthfulness. Truthfulness is important because lies and deceit are an abomination to God [the following list is expanded from a list by Gordon Lewis in Focal Point (Summer, 1995)]:

• Lies are antithetical to the character of God (Num. 23:19)
• Lies are contrary to God's revealed will (Lev. 6:1-7)
• Lies sabatoge one's integrity (1 Tim. 4:2)
• Lies do damage to others (Prov. 14:25)
• Lies do not conform to reality, they twist and pervert it (Prov. 12:5)
• Lies have their source in Satan, our sworn enemy (Mt. 5:37; Jn. 8:44)
• Lies are at odds with a primary function of the church (1 Tim. 3:15)
• Lies break our fellowship with God (1 Jn. 1:6-10)

John Piper summarizes the importance of truth well in his book, God's Passion for His Glory:

"To love God passionately is to love truth passionately. Being God-centered in life means being truth-driven in ministry. What is not true is not of God. What is false is anti-God. Indifference to the truth is indifference to the mind of God.…Our concern with truth is simply an echo of our concern with God. And all this is rooted in God's concern with God, or God's passion for the glory of God."

So as you shepherd your children, lead them to choose friends who will speak godly truth to them, and train them to speak godly truth to others. It is, after all, for the glory of God.

Lessons Remembered After a Midnight Phone Call

When the phone rings at midnight, awakening you from a deep and hard sleep, it rarely rings with happy news.

"Mr. Enns? This is Pastor ________. Your daughter is ok, but she's been in an accident at camp and has been hurt…We're getting ready to take her to the emergency room…"

With those words last night, our rejuvenating sleep was transformed to hours of unrestful waiting. Long story short, she's ok and will be able to finish the week at camp. But those first few hours too many questions raced through our minds to allow us any kind of useful sleep. We were more than 600 miles away and helpless to help.

As I reflected today on my light night of sleep, here are some spiritual lessons I knew but found myself encouraged by as I remembered them (much of our Biblical encouragement comes not from learning new truth, but remembering and practicing already known truth):

• It is possible, and it is good, to give thanks in all circumstances. Around 3:00 a.m., as the phone calls had finished for the night and I was thinking on Scripture and praying, I realized that while I was able to express gratitude for this testing of my faith, there were numerous other testings for which I had to this point only grumbled. So began a time of expressing to God various expressions of gratitude for all the circumstances of my life.
• God really is sovereign — and that is a good gift. What He does may be hard, but it come from His goodness and love and power, and He is trustworthy — and that means, as James Boice noted (my paraphrase from my memory) when he announced to his congregation the presence of cancer within his body that would usher him into glory within weeks, "if we were able to change what God has done, no matter what He has done, it wouldn't be as good…" Broken teeth don't undo the sovereignty of God — they make us to embrace that sovereignty in all its fullness and goodness.
• In the face of testings, sin is ugly. That may not be readily apparent. But when Christ is loved and trials arrive, presentations of sin are starkly exposed as the hideous temptations they are to lure us into deadly traps. Trials make truth and error clear and distinct, compelling the Christ-lover to despise the vileness of sin all the more. Trials make death appear darker and life appear brighter. That's good for our souls.
• Just because there are testings in one part of life does not preclude God from presenting us with other ministry opportunities in other areas of life. In the midst of awaiting some phone calls this morning, Raye Jeanne and I saw an unrecognized car pull into the driveway. "Who's that?" I asked. "I don't know…Oh, that's some Jehovah's Witnesses…" she replied. And up they marched to the door. In our brief conversation, I was sadly reminded that the exclusive claims of Christ are divisive, and the god of this world will use many means to delude many people to believing they are "close" to Christ by keeping them away from the reality of the true Christ. The parting image in my mind is of two women quickly walking away from me, a dismissive wave of the hands and the words "Don't bother — we don't want it," to my promise to pray for them to come to understand and know Christ. It is the image of two women believing they have the truth, marching resolutely towards eternity in hell. And my heart grieved.
• The body of Christ is a gift of Christ's grace. How can you train a child that God will provide His sustaining grace even if Dad and Mom aren't present? That's a lesson that's hard to orchestrate. Or, how can you train a child to see that the church is God's instrument by which He often manifests that grace to His people? For us, this week, that lesson was taught by means of our daughter being 600 miles from home and experiencing the grace of many of Christ's people sacrificing for her as an expression of their love for Christ.
• My trial or test is about more than just me. I've said it for years, God obviously uses my pain to deepen my faith in Him; but He also uses my pain to stimulate others to love and good deeds. "Consider my servant Job" (Job 1:8; cf. also Js. 5:11) means another's pain is sometimes woven into my life to transform me into greater Christlikeness.
• "Pray without ceasing" can be graciously kick-started by unexpected phone calls. And the quality and depth of one's prayer life is clarifyingly revealed by those same calls.

It all began with what seemed an untimely phone call. And it ended with the demonstration of God's grace in manifold ways — both for a young lady and her parents — and a host of timely memories. I thank God for minds to know and hearts to remember Him — both in and out of times of trial.

Sunday Leftovers (7/15/07)

Yesterday morning I read an extended quote from Tedd Tripp's book Shepherding a Child's Heart (one of the very best books on parenting). Here is the rest of the quote that I left unread (the entire quote was from pp. 38-40):

Remember Proverbs 4:23. Life flows out of the heart. Parenting cannot be concerned only with positive shaping influences, it must shepherd the heart. Life gushes forth from the heart.

I am interested in helping parents engage in hand-to-hand combat on the world's smallest battlefield, the child's heart. You need to engage your children as creatures made in the image of God. They can find fulfillment and happiness only as they know and serve the living God.

…You want to provide the best possible shaping influences for your children. You want the structure of your home to furnish the stability and security that they need. You want the quality of relationships in your home to reflect the grace of God and the mercy for failing sinners that the character of God demonstrates. You want the punishments meted out to be appropriate and to reflect a holy God's view of sin. You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed. You want to control the flow of events so that it is never a chaotic, but rather a well-structured home. You want to provide a healthy, constructive atmosphere for your child.

When all is said and done, those things important as they are, will never be the total story. Your child is not just a product of those shaping influences. He interacts with all these things. He interacts according to the nature of the covenantal choices he is making. Either he responds to the goodness and mercy of God in faith or he responds in unbelief. Either he grows to love and trust the living God, or he turns more fully to various forms of idolatry and self-reliance. The story is not just the nature of the shaping influences of his life, but how he has responded to God in the context of those shaping influences.

Since it is the Godward orientation of your child's heart that determines his response to life, you may never conclude that his problems are simply a lack of maturity. Selfishness is not outgrown. Rebellion against authority is not outgrown. These things are not outgrown because they are not reflective of immaturity but of the idolatry of your child's heart.

Sunday Leftovers (7/8/07)

For the most part, the much dreaded millennium bug was pretty much a non-event. For a 105-year-old woman in Norway, it provided an occasion for a reflective chuckle. Because the computer for a local government agency that offered free daycare to all five-year-olds in Oslo, it pulled all the records of children born in '94 — including the record of one woman born in 1894, not 1994. Imagine her surprise at finding the invitation to attend kindergarten — again. One hundred years later!

Or, perhaps the opportunity elicited some inner contemplation on this order: "If I really could go back, what would I do differently? How different would my life be with a different start?"

How we start is important.

And that is why Solomon, when instructing his son about spiritual life, began his talk with direct words about the authority and blessing of adherence to the Word of God. And the first word about the first spiritual priority was, "do not forget my teaching [lit., Torah]." This command is a warning about the importance of remembering the Word of God.

Now, when we say, "remember the Word of God," it is easy to slip into a discourse about Scripture memory. There is an element of that which is true — memorizing Scripture should yield a meditation on Scripture which should produce an increasingly transformed life. However, Solomon equates remembering God's Word to obeying and doing the word of God, which he states by using the words keep (v. 1), bind them around your neck, and write them on your heart (v. 3).

So the task of the parent in discipling his child is to stimulate the child to remember what the truth is, what it has been designed by God to do in the individual, and then to faithful do what it says. So my task as a Dad is to examine every situation in the life of my children, help them evaluate it in the light of Biblical truth, and then encourage, exhort, and help them to obey with joy.

So there are two questions that remain:

1. How well are my children remembering (obeying) the Word of God?
2. What am I doing to stimulate them to remember the Word of God well?
   

Crawford Loritts asked it well in his recent sermon "Passing the Torch:"

What signature are you writing on the souls of future generations?…Is there a clear pathway that can be seen through how you approach ministry back to the character of God and the content of Scripture? How are you thinking about what God has entrusted to you?

Worthy of imitation

Several years ago, basketball player Charles Barkley created no small amount of controversy when he said,

"I am not paid to be a role model. I am paid to wreak havoc on a basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I can dunk a basketball, that doesn't mean I should raise your kids…"

He is wrong on the first part of his statement — whether he, or any other person in public view, is willing to acknowledge it or not, he is a role model. But his second premise is absolutely correct — parents should be role models.

This is why Solomon says to his son, "A righteous man who walks in his integrity — How blessed are his sons after him" (Prov. 20:7). A son who has a father who lives a life of integrity and authentic Biblical faith is blessed indeed, for he has someone worthy of following. He reaps the blessing and joy of having a godly father who shepherds and nurtures him (instead of a cruel father who antagonizes him and provokes him to anger), and he reaps God's blessing as he learns to live his own life of righteousness.

This is not the only encouragement to live an exemplary life — a life worthy of imitation. For instance, it is remarkable how often Paul and the other New Testament writers say, "Follow me." (E.g., see 1 Cor. 4:16; 11:1; Eph. 5:1; Phil. 3:17; 4:9; Col. 1:3-4, 7; 1 Thess. 1:6; 2:14; 2 Thess. 3:7, 9; 2 Tim. 3:14-15; Heb. 6:12; 13:7; 3 John 11.) The calling of these verses emphasize that it is possible to live a life worth emulating (God only calls and requires of a believer that which He also equips him to do), and that it is also the calling of the believer to live an exemplary life (one of the words that is often used in these passages is the word group from which we get our word, "mimic").

Paul, as a spiritual father to various churches and individuals was unafraid to say, "Follow me. You can imitate my faith. You should imitate my faith as much as I am following Christ." And this is essentially what Jesus called Peter to do in Jn. 21 when He told Peter to “shepherd my sheep.” With that statement, he means, "lead my sheep in such a way that they will follow you to me.”

This is the calling of every parent — to live in such a way that our faith is worthy of imitation and to intentionally put our children in situations so that they can see a vibrant faith in us and that they are stimulated to love and good deeds. As you consider your relationship with your children (both infant and adult) or those who are your spiritual children, or those who just happen to watch your life, are you living in such a way that anything you do is worthy of imitation?

Sunday Leftovers (7/1/07)

It was supposed to be just a simple, brief, quiet lunch at home with Raye Jeanne and the girls. A respite in the midst of a busy schedule. The taste of some sweet fellowship to nourish our hearts with each other until we came together again at the end of the day.

At the time I could get home in about 10 minutes, enjoy 45 minutes with the family, and then be back at the office in a reasonable time frame. I was about 40 minutes into that lunch, when something happened.

Time and forgiveness has dulled the memory of the particular event. I do remember it wasn't overly significant in itself. It was just a small offense — "trivial" almost (I say that knowing that sin is never trivial). All it would take was a simple, "Mommy, I was wrong; will you forgive me?" So I gently encouraged our daughter to do just that. Then the second event happened.

"No."

"Sweetheart…what you did was wrong; you need to ask Mommy for forgiveness."

"No!"

I looked at my watch. The second hand was ticking. "No problem," I thought, "I'll just take her to the other room, explain it more carefully, she will see her sin, confess it to me and Raye Jeanne, and I will still be back to the office in good time."

Forty-five minutes later she finally confessed. In the process, she was crying, Raye Jeanne was crying, and I was doubting my parental abilities and shepherding wisdom. "Is it really worth it?" I wondered. "Maybe I should just go give up and go back to the office. It's just one small sin; it'll be okay."

Except it wouldn't. The toleration and willful ignorance of even one sin sets in motion the thought in the child's mind that sin is acceptable and of little consequence. And the equally evil thought, "Mom and Dad care about sin, but not too much; they aren't really willing to pay the price to reinforce their convictions. So I just need to wait for them to give up on their beliefs."

Now maybe a two-year-old won't think that thought literally (though a 14-year-old very well may), but she will begin acting on that presupposition. And it will be to her detriment.

Fools mock at sin,
But among the upright there is good will. (Prov. 14:9)

Righteousness exalts a nation,
But sin is a disgrace to any people. (Prov. 14:34)

He who loves transgression loves strife;
He who raises his door seeks destruction. (Prov. 17:19)

By transgression an evil man is ensnared,
But the righteous sings and rejoices. (Prov. 29:6)

To train a child takes wisdom to confront sin graciously, consistently, and with endurance. That's what makes parenting hard. And it's also what makes it joyful at the end of life.
So the hard job of a parent in child training (and this is applicable for adult children as well), is not just the confrontation of sin, but the consistent confrontation of sin. Endurance in the confrontation of sin. Appealing to confession in the confrontation of sin. And the granting of liberal and gracious forgiveness for confessed sin.

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. (Prov. 28:13)