Sunday Leftovers (7/15/07)

Yesterday morning I read an extended quote from Tedd Tripp's book Shepherding a Child's Heart (one of the very best books on parenting). Here is the rest of the quote that I left unread (the entire quote was from pp. 38-40):

Remember Proverbs 4:23. Life flows out of the heart. Parenting cannot be concerned only with positive shaping influences, it must shepherd the heart. Life gushes forth from the heart.

I am interested in helping parents engage in hand-to-hand combat on the world's smallest battlefield, the child's heart. You need to engage your children as creatures made in the image of God. They can find fulfillment and happiness only as they know and serve the living God.

…You want to provide the best possible shaping influences for your children. You want the structure of your home to furnish the stability and security that they need. You want the quality of relationships in your home to reflect the grace of God and the mercy for failing sinners that the character of God demonstrates. You want the punishments meted out to be appropriate and to reflect a holy God's view of sin. You want the values of your home to be scripturally informed. You want to control the flow of events so that it is never a chaotic, but rather a well-structured home. You want to provide a healthy, constructive atmosphere for your child.

When all is said and done, those things important as they are, will never be the total story. Your child is not just a product of those shaping influences. He interacts with all these things. He interacts according to the nature of the covenantal choices he is making. Either he responds to the goodness and mercy of God in faith or he responds in unbelief. Either he grows to love and trust the living God, or he turns more fully to various forms of idolatry and self-reliance. The story is not just the nature of the shaping influences of his life, but how he has responded to God in the context of those shaping influences.

Since it is the Godward orientation of your child's heart that determines his response to life, you may never conclude that his problems are simply a lack of maturity. Selfishness is not outgrown. Rebellion against authority is not outgrown. These things are not outgrown because they are not reflective of immaturity but of the idolatry of your child's heart.