Christ and the Father are unified in all their purposes — including their purpose in hardening unbelievers. Yet there is a mystery remaining — the sovereign will of God negates neither God's compassion for the unbelief of unbelievers, nor their responsibility as they will one day stand under His judgment.
So, here are one more verse and two additional quotations that help clarify God's sovereignty over unbelief and unbelievers.
After entering the city of Jerusalem triumphantly, Jesus said this about His city:
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling" (Mt. 23:37)
He hardened them, and yet He had extensive compassion in which He longed to gather them to Him, and the only thing that prevented that fellowship was their own unwillingness. So, at the end of time, all men will be judged with righteousness: those who enter into eternal intimacy with God will do so not because of their work or merits, but Christs; and those who are banished eternally from God into everlasting condemnation will do so on the basis of their own rejection of and hatred for God.
The statements that I found helpful are as follows:
The present passage [John 12:39-40] ascribes everything to the will of God. Unless His hand is in it nothing is possible. But when John quotes 'he hath blinded the eyes…' he does not mean that the blinding takes place without the will or against the will of these people. So with the hardening of their heart. These men chose evil. It was their own deliberate choice, their own fault. Make no mistake about that. [Leon Morris]
[Speaking of 1 Pt. 2:7-8:] We must note that while Scripture is willing to affirm God's ultimate 'destining' of wrongful actions…the blame for these actions is always given to the moral creatures (men and angels) who willingly choose to do wrong; the blame is never given to God (Cf. Jb. 1:22). If we ask how God can 'destine' that something happen through the wilful choice of his creatures, yet himself remain free from blame (and not be the 'author' of sin in the sense of actually doing wrong himself), then we approach Paul's questions in Romans 9: 19, 'Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?' Yet here Scripture gives us no answer except to say, 'But who are you, a man, to answer back to God?' (Rom. 9:20).
…[Furthermore,] 'reprobation' (the passing over of those who are not chosen, and justly leaving them in their rebellion) is viewed as something which brings God sorrow, not delight (note Ezk. 33:11, and cf. Paul's sorrow in Rom. 9:1-2), and in which the blame is always put on the men or angels who rebel, not on God (Jn. 3:18-19; 5:40).
[Finally,] Peter intended this text as a comfort for Christians in the midst of persecution by hostile unbelievers.…It can best be applied that way today also (even as Rom. 8:28 and 1 Pet. 1:7) by any Christian facing any kind of abuse from non-Christians (note David's response to Shimei's cursing in 2 Sa. 16:10-12). [Wayne Grudem]
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