Sunday Leftovers (7/1/07)

It was supposed to be just a simple, brief, quiet lunch at home with Raye Jeanne and the girls. A respite in the midst of a busy schedule. The taste of some sweet fellowship to nourish our hearts with each other until we came together again at the end of the day.

At the time I could get home in about 10 minutes, enjoy 45 minutes with the family, and then be back at the office in a reasonable time frame. I was about 40 minutes into that lunch, when something happened.

Time and forgiveness has dulled the memory of the particular event. I do remember it wasn't overly significant in itself. It was just a small offense — "trivial" almost (I say that knowing that sin is never trivial). All it would take was a simple, "Mommy, I was wrong; will you forgive me?" So I gently encouraged our daughter to do just that. Then the second event happened.

"No."

"Sweetheart…what you did was wrong; you need to ask Mommy for forgiveness."

"No!"

I looked at my watch. The second hand was ticking. "No problem," I thought, "I'll just take her to the other room, explain it more carefully, she will see her sin, confess it to me and Raye Jeanne, and I will still be back to the office in good time."

Forty-five minutes later she finally confessed. In the process, she was crying, Raye Jeanne was crying, and I was doubting my parental abilities and shepherding wisdom. "Is it really worth it?" I wondered. "Maybe I should just go give up and go back to the office. It's just one small sin; it'll be okay."

Except it wouldn't. The toleration and willful ignorance of even one sin sets in motion the thought in the child's mind that sin is acceptable and of little consequence. And the equally evil thought, "Mom and Dad care about sin, but not too much; they aren't really willing to pay the price to reinforce their convictions. So I just need to wait for them to give up on their beliefs."

Now maybe a two-year-old won't think that thought literally (though a 14-year-old very well may), but she will begin acting on that presupposition. And it will be to her detriment.

Fools mock at sin,
But among the upright there is good will. (Prov. 14:9)

Righteousness exalts a nation,
But sin is a disgrace to any people. (Prov. 14:34)

He who loves transgression loves strife;
He who raises his door seeks destruction. (Prov. 17:19)

By transgression an evil man is ensnared,
But the righteous sings and rejoices. (Prov. 29:6)

To train a child takes wisdom to confront sin graciously, consistently, and with endurance. That's what makes parenting hard. And it's also what makes it joyful at the end of life.
So the hard job of a parent in child training (and this is applicable for adult children as well), is not just the confrontation of sin, but the consistent confrontation of sin. Endurance in the confrontation of sin. Appealing to confession in the confrontation of sin. And the granting of liberal and gracious forgiveness for confessed sin.

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. (Prov. 28:13)